Target.com Ruined Halloween
Posted on 28 October 2010
My fiancé is my favorite vampire.
My second favorite vampire lives in a cobweb-infested castle on Sesame Street. You might know him as The Count. What’s not to love about a muppet who sends himself letters just so he can count them?
So when I met my Transylvanian fiancé two years ago, I didn’t think Team Edward, I thought Team Count von Count.
I was elated to have a friendly vampire all to myself and insisted that he dress like my childhood obsession (ok fine, crush) for Halloween. But we couldn’t find a costume and we were too lazy to make our own so in the end, we spent Halloween 2009 at home in PJs.
But this year was poised to be different — Sesame Street is HOT. Sexy Elmo might be a disturbing prospect, but if his popularity means we can buy a head-to-toe Count costume on Target.com, I pledge my support.
I ordered The Count two weeks ago and I haven’t stopped talking about it since. I obsessively tracked its movements online. Always the optimist, I checked the mail daily just in case it arrived before the estimated delivery date.
When it finally did arrive, I was giddy with anticipation. I normally avoid conversation in the elevator, but this time I was relieved that my neighbor wanted to know what was in the box. I couldn’t wait to share!
“It’s a Halloween costume. It’s The Count!” I said, grinning like an idiot.
“Nice! He was always my favorite,” said the mystery neighbor.
“RIGHT?! He’s the best. I’m so excited. Have a great night!”
I stormed out of the elevator and into the apartment, practically knocking over my live-in vampire.
“Get the scissors!” I barked. “It’s here!”
He wasn’t nearly as excited about the whole thing — in fact I think he was dreading having to wear this monstrosity — but he’s a good sport and he always plays along. We opened the box and all we saw was yellow.
“That’s not the Count,” I frowned.
“No. No it’s not.”
It was Big Bird.
How this happened, I have no idea. Was it too good to be true all along? Did I jinx it? All I know is that there are no Count costumes in stock anymore and as much as I like Big Bird, I’m not paying for a costume that calls for jeans from the waist down.
Thanks Target. That $20 gift card might say “sorry,” but it won’t uncrush my dreams.
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